When I started researching wedding regrets, I was bombarded. It seems like everyone and their sister has written an article on all of the regrets that people have post-wedding. Being both an optimist and a realist, I understand that things can’t all be perfect all the time, but…folks there were a lot of regrets.
Wedding regrets ranging from the minor to the truly heartbreaking. What I realized while looking through list after list was that…I didn’t have any of the same regrets. No wedding or event is going to be 100% perfect, but I’m convinced that I don’t share the same feelings as the people on these lists because we eloped.
After reading I don’t know how many articles, I’ve compiled a list of the most common wedding regrets, and how eloping takes them out of the equation.
…This one is pretty straightforward, isn’t it?
Anyone who has planned a wedding has been there. You’ve got the people on the “of course” list, and then you get to the point of “well if we invite that person, we have to invite so-and-so, and if we invite them, then…”
I’m not saying everyone invites people they don’t like, but…it happens. And it snowballs. Fast.
Solution: elope. Either just the two of you, or your very nearest and dearest. Draw the line in the sand.
This one can absolutely apply to elopements, but the solution is much more manageable.
When you’ve got a big event scheduled, that’s it. The deposits are paid, the tickets are booked. And if anything weather-related happens, you’d better have a backup plan (often expensive) that can accommodate all of those people.
Solution: Elope. My couples do book me for a specific date, but there’s so much more wiggle room! Weather getting kind of gross but may clear later? We can do something else in the meantime and have the ceremony whenever you feel like it. Need to move indoors? Way easier with a handful of people than with 200. Elopement dates are also much more flexible. I encourage my couples to consider weekdays, and we can pick the best time of year for the location they want.
I’m not just making this up to toot my own horn: it was mentioned way more often than it should have been. Look, weddings get expensive. I get it. The budget can get out of control, and everything seems so…necessary. But did you know that a terrifying number of couples don’t remember most of their wedding day? The internet is plastered with articles about how to avoid it. There’s even a term for it! “Wedding Day Amnesia.”
What in the…
Look, my memory isn’t exactly in the 99th percentile, but…something is clearly going on that makes people lose their memories of their wedding day (more on that below).
So why don’t couples hire photographers to document it all for them…? Why do they go without, or hire “that one cousin who owns a camera”? I’m well aware that photographers aren’t cheap, but think about it: what else is left after your wedding day?
Solution: …hire a damn photographer. But also: elope! I’d argue that photographs are even more important for eloping couples. We help them document this incredible day so that they can share it with everyone afterwards. I also help most of my couples plan things out, which takes a lot of pressure and worry off of their shoulders. Without having to budget for catering for 200 people and a big venue, eloping couples have no problem hiring a pro to photograph their day.
Remember the wedding day amnesia? (…haha)
This is a huge cause and one of the most common wedding regrets that I saw: rushing through it. All the tips you’re googling right now will tell you to “slow down, enjoy the moment, be present!”
How are you supposed to do that when you have exactly 2.5 hours for hair and makeup, a 15 minute window for a first look, one of the eight groomsmen has lost his tie and another can’t find his trousers and “does anyone know how to put on a boutonniere…?” (I do), the ring-bearer is throwing a tantrum, one of your vendors is late, and where on earth are your shoes?! Then before you know it, boom-boom-boom, the ceremony is done, your face hurts from smiling in 36 different permutations of family photos (which happen during the cocktail hour you’re missing), and you just want to put some food in your face but there are 200 people who keep talking to you (what was her name again?) and then there are speeches and toasts and dancing and…
Wait, is it over? What happened…?
Solution: ELOPE. I can’t promise that no one is ever going to lose their trousers, but I mean…we can find a different pair? And move your timeline around to do whatever you want. The rest of that shit isn’t even a factor.
This ties into regret #4. Big weddings have a lot going on.
One of the other wedding regrets that I saw connected to this one was wishing they’d hired a planner or a day-of coordinator to keep track of everything. (If you’re having a big wedding, I highly recommend you do this.)
I’m not saying that elopements don’t have any details to manage. It’s just that…big weddings tend to have more going on than one person can deal with. Part of the reason why people end up stressed and frantic on their wedding day (and victim to Wedding Day Amnesia) is because they’re worrying about “all of the things.” Did the napkins get set out just so? Are they the right colour? Did the cake arrive? Where is the wedding party? Does the florist have enough time to set everything up? Where’s my dad? Who’s in charge of–
You don’t have to worry about any of that if you elope. And the few things we do need to worry about? Don’t stress; I’ve got you. It’s all taken care of.
Has this list of wedding regrets given you something to think about? My goal here is not to scare you away from a big wedding. Not at all! It’s to show you what can really happen at big weddings. If you’re going to do it, eyes wide open, right? And if you’re on the fence, maybe this is the nudge you needed…
I’ll be right here if you need me xx